From an Asshole Perspective

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

2009-05-29T11:28:00.000-07:00

SIDENOTE:
Ok, first things first for all my guys out there. Never, ever, EVER, write a girl something longer than a page. This will never turn out well for you. I made the mistake (when i was 16 years old!) of writing Jennifer my repressed feelings for her in a journal. Yeah, that's pretty bad and for arguments sake we will mark her rejection postjournal giving as a timestamp in history when I was turned into an asshole (wow, deep). Also, let's also recall Ravi writing my sister a 6 page letter about his feelings. Yeah, we constantly use that against him. So, the moral of the story is, never write girls letters/journals!

From this blog circa August 18th, 2008

Oh John...so smart!

1300 words of goodness

2009-05-27T10:41:00.000-07:00

So, yeah, I haven't written a blog in ages. I've started a 1 or 2 each month since I last posted and I always feel like by the 66.6% mark that I just feel as if what I am writing no longer becomes interesting nor worthwhile as much as it is emo. What a great time to live in. 1950's: write about how shitty things are = Sylvia Plath (but then again, who wants to be read by a bunch of self-appointed sophisticated teenage girls?) 2000's: write about feelings = "Hi, I enjoy Fall Out Boy and Taking Back Sunday" (Gay).

Well, I guess I should do some general housekeeping since everyone is keeping score at home. What has happened since my last post? My roommates who I claimed to be gay incarnates of my friends back home have grown on me. I guess they are no longer gay in my eyes, thus making them not like my friends at home...bah dum che (that was a rim shot for all you short-bussers). A few things about my roommates however. Mike (Phil) is a huge pushover who bottles up his emotions (on second thought...) Mike (Mig), has been influenced by me a bit this year I guess. He now has an affinity for raw denims and japanese stealth beast wear and is constantly siphoning off my music collection. Mike (Mig) has a girlfriend now (I am so proud! It's his first one) who is kind of weird and punks him a lot (Liz). Wow, low blow man...low blow. Long (Emo Phil), who I hung out with a lot Fall quarter is pretty distant this quarter and sleeps all day (Tom). I am assuming he is having some waves of depression due to the death of his grandmother and his lack of a new Incubus album. Long has a girlfriend who is crazy and super attached to Long and never leaves our dorm (Denise) and she has a friend who looks like she's 12 and won't stop giving me flyers for club events (Sam). Ok, I totally made that last part up, Long's girlfriend's friend looks like she’s 13. I'm pretty sure Long hasn't gotten any action in a while (Drew). WOW! this is too fun. Uh, my other friend is tall and looks like Kobe Bryant (Gianni). Iris the Virus' (or viri??) status came up as "Single" on facebook a few weeks ago which caused a wave of excitement which soon followed by disappointment after further investigation. The girl who I referred to as a large-breasted version of a former gf of mine is now for sure on the single block. But, after further contemplation, I would be completely satisfied if I only saw one boob due to her clingy annoyingness. Since I last posted, I also have a new coworker. So, the last 2 new hires have been young, Asian women. Ladies and Gentlemen, the new face of accounting. She's cute (Cute face, kinda chubby cheeks, small frame, B Cups [about enough for a handful], big butt, style is better than average) however, I fear there's something wrong with her. She's like the coworker at work that tries to be cool with all the other coworkers by making lame jokes and trying to start inside jokes. Forced humor is not funny. However, one thing I do like is weirdness. She enjoys watching movies in theaters by herself. That is something that is totally respectful and a good sign of self-confidence or she's just a loser. Uhm, oh yeah, I guess it would be unfair to leave this last part out, but I began dating someone back home. The status of said "dating" is up in the air however.

I kind of realized that it's not cool to bash people on the internets with this blog if you still talk to them. Personally, I'd like to apologize to Tritia [awww, how cute]. Somehow Mig will turn that last sentence into an awkward moment @ TGIF. However, I guess it’s still ok to bash people I don't talk to anymore. So sorry, to this person, you are still going to be the butt of some jokes.

Ok, so I guess my blog wouldn't be complete without a lesson about the opposite sex. So, here we go. I am positively sure that I have figured out a tactic that women employ to keep a leash on men. I may not be the first person to notice this but I will explain for all those who have not. Recently, I watched an episode of Family Guy entitled "Chick Cancer" where Stewie is having trouble picking up a girl who thinks that she is too sophisticated for him. Brian decides to help his friend Stewie and shows him where he can get "all he needs to know about women." This transitions into a scene in front of Quagmire's house where a naked woman runs out of his house disgusted by Quagmire. He then calls her a "whore" in which she responds positively to and proceeds to go back inside his house. Stewie's epiphany is obvious, if you treat a woman poorly she'll be nuts over you.

What does that have to do with a tactic or game women use on men? Well, this is what I have noticed and confirmed with a few other sources. Since women enjoy assholes (don't even lie to yourselves all you lurker women), a great way of keeping themselves satisfied is by purposely pissing off guys. Ok guys, have you ever just been content with the way things are going and your wench of a ladyfriend purposely does or says something to piss you off? YEAH, doesn't sound new to you. However, we men dismiss this as brauds being dumb or naive. This theme is quite common in our collective subconscious. Look at King of the Hill, Peggy thinks she smart but often times she gets into trouble that angers Hank and Hank ends up bailing her out of her problem which brings them closer together. Obviously, they aren't going to portray Peggy as some conniving skirt, but you get the idea. The premise of the tactic women employ is a multi-part equation. First, they enjoy being treated poorly (which one day I will figure out why). Second, they have self-esteem/confidence issues (probably my fault right? I mean, if I referenced you as this, I would feel bad about myself too). This lack of confidence causes women to fret about nothing and creates a fear in women that if their man is comfortable that he will soon leave. So, add this all up and you get 99.9% of relationship problems. So, I guess that would put the onus of relationship failures on women then right? Haha, ok, so I may have exaggerated the 99% number but c'mon, prove me wrong.

So the next question is, "how do you counter this?" I don't have a sure fire way of combating this tactic, but guys, if you have the balls, whatever you do, do not get mad. Just file it away as something you do not need in your life. Because that is totally true, who the hell needs made up problems to waste their time? Do I suggest the good ol’ DTB? I don’t know. A more head strong male such as Drew would suggest so. I, myself, a year ago would have to agree with Drew.

The Yoko Ono Effect

2008-12-14T23:23:00.001-08:00

Wow, its been a while since I've posted something. Sorry sorry...so let's hit the ground running.

This topic has been something I thought up a while ago. I won't say who got me to think of this idea, but lets just say it happened some time last year. First off, some background info:

I've always had a tight knit group of friends. Well, like two tight knit groups. The two groups could mix, they were not mutually exclusive but the highest frequency of hangouts were usually separate. So, I have my class of '02 friends (+tommy) aka the RCPz (?) and I have my Artillery + drewfob friends. The issue arises in the latter (thats the Artillery + drewfob group for all you Chaffey goers). Our group was cohesive. We all knew eachother and we all saw eachother for the most part on the daily doing usually nothing but eating corkys, drinking starbucks..you know, real Seinfeld type shit. Although we did nothing most of the time but talk shit to mig about how gay he is, make fun of phil for being a pedophile, tom for being a slacker, drew for being a simp (although he has been liberated! welcome home brother), and me for being a dirtbag asshole (somehow, I feel like that's the short end of the stick). Gianni mostly doesnt get made fun of. He just laughs at everything and impersonates people. We also scheme on what girls we all want to do.

Please don't hurt me Drewfob...

Anywho, so that is the way things are. Or were...

Fuck man, things are not the same, and if you know me, I hate changes. Every time I'm home, the group doesn't get together to chill. And we all know why. There's a big freakin elephant in the room that we all know is there but we kind of shy away from talking about. FUCK-ING YOKO ONO.

So, what is or who is yoko ono? Well, for all you non-beatles fans, Yoko Ono, John Lennon's wife (or widow) is fairly or unfairly credited for breaking up the Beatles. So, in current times, this would be that bitch (most likely filipino) who goes out with one of the homies and kinda is always fuckin there. Next thing you know, whatever drama that the couple (John and Yoko) is having spills into the group, essentially drawing lines in the sand. This is exactly what happened to our group man...WTF!

Ok, I'm not going to lie, I enjoyed some records from the John and Yoko era (Imagine, the Ballad of John and Yoko) but damn, with the entrance of Yoko, no more Beatles. And the same goes for Artillery + drewfob.

There really is no need for me to call out this 'Yoko' because what is done is done. There's also no reason for me to describe the situation and why shit is like this. Whatever, c'est la vie...

boobs and a slut

2008-10-26T20:12:00.000-07:00

One thing I have noticed about UCLA is the amount of boobs there are here. I feel that boobs are not getting enough love now a days with the onset of bitches with mad booty (Kim Kardashian, Vida Guerra, and Shawn Johnson) <---damn, that's kinda wrong...

But anywho, I just cant but help to notice all the boobies here. I'm going to have to trade in my asspass for some boobies because breasts are just underrated now a days. So, what's so great about boobs? Let me outline some great things:

THE SIDEBOOB:

Honestly, this is the hottest thing about boobs. Move over cleavage...this is where the money is at!

MMMM!

Natalie Portman for all you nerds

Ya'll feel me or what??? Another great thing about boobs...

NO BRAS!:

This stems from the American Apparel style craze. Most college girls aim to look like they literally just stepped out of an american apparel ad or something. Jesus Deep V+No Bra = MONEY!

In conjuction with the No Bra thing, we have the...

HIPPIE BOOB PHENOMENA:

This is more of an acquired taste.

Well, enough about boobs. Here's a lil vagina update for y'all. Remember my story about tall tritia? Well, her name is Iris and my roommie Mike, aka phil 2.0 told me that in High School her nickname was "IRIS THE VIRUS." I mean, there are some pretty bad nicknames, but this could not have been worse news for me. Sigh...oh well, this is why my friends you do not put all your biscuits in one basket.

Filipino Chicks Ruined My Life

2008-10-17T19:25:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I haven't really been writing in my blog. I am sorry...I know I am neglecting all 14 of you who read this thing. Haha..uhmmm...I guess I have a lot of stories to tell about my time so far @ UCLA:

-I have a job now at the Law School of UCLA in the Accounting Dept. Pretty unexciting...but it could be promising. I am in love (pfff..really?) with a girl at my work. It's kind of awkward because I am the subordinate in this situation. Hopefully this pans out to being worthy of the Office.

-After getting a job at the Law School, I decided to go to Bev Center to pick up some office worthy clothes with my roommate Mike aka Phil 2. And we just happen to run into a Ice Cube + WC concert...wow..I havent had this much west coast pride since I thought I was a cholo in middle school. To top it off, WC did his famous sideways off the stage C-Walk..if you don't know what im talking about then GTFO!

-I've been drinking a lot lately. And I've been meeting girls at an exponential rate and my fun level is reaching a pretty decent high. Oh..shit..almost forgot...This story is pretty awesome IMO:

So, months ago when Drew and I would eat every Wednesday together (tear) we'd go to Kathy's (his crazy cousin who dances all the goddamn time) pad and just make fun of her and just browse her facebook. And of course, if you've ever seen Drewfob beast over women this guy lusts pretty crazy. After 10 minutes of going through her friends and saying which ones we wanted to bone I stumbled upon this one chicks profile. Me being the idiot I am was like, "OMG, its like a taller version of tritia!!" But, after Drew's inspection he came to conclusion of "what the fuck you smoking?" So, this girl doesn't really look like tritia afterall but I still enjoy the nickname. Fast Forward to last night and guess what? TALL TRITIA GOES TO UCLA! What are the fuckin odds of that right? hahaha. Ok, so I bet everyone (all 14 of you) are wondering what Tall Tritia looks like. Well here ya go:

She's on the one right next to the guy who looks 80% like toomgam just trying 50% less hard. J/k toomgam, this guy is totally trying just as hard.

I know, shes bombsies! But, yeah, this picture was taken after the UCLA rally/bonfire. After the rally we went back to my room and drank a bit. I showed her my shirt and then proceeded to ruin my chances with her. HAHAHA

But yeah, in conclusion...I heart UCLA and I need another dosing of filipino chicks ruining my life!

UCLA

2008-09-29T01:07:00.000-07:00

Welp, life's pretty good out here in Westwood. Its been a while since I've written anything so lemme fill you guys in on what's happened so far...

So, the vegan bet is over. Thank god!! So, how did I reenter the world of meat? With Morton's Steakhouse. Shit, was freakin bangin! Yeah, so eating meat is great again. Uhm, I lost 35 lbs in the process though. So, all you self-conscious ladies who have been doing it the wrong way (bulimia, starving yourself, laxatives) going vegan is the way! The sad part is, I am sure I'm going to gain all the weight back here at school. The great thing about dorming is the amount of food. Basically, whenever I am hungry I just stroll down to the dining hall and eat at a buffet. My roommates are pretty chill. Here they are:

This is Mike (aka Phil 2)

This is Long (aka...Andy Mao?)

They are both real cool people and we have a great time making fun of eachother. They are also cool with being pseudo gay with each other so its just like home! This is what my room looks like:

Pretty fuckin small I guess, but I like to call it cozy.

First week of school activities means free stuff and frat rush week. My suitemate Will (damn, I really wish I coulda taken a picture of him [no homo] because he could be UCLA drewfob) wanted to go to this frat party thing. So, basically, I go meet up with these frat guys to show us around the "frat life" and they are basically a bunch of aZn thugz. Like, fo real. So, I'm already nervous about this because I don't like being around too many asians so this was just awkward for me. But hey, rush week = free food + drink. Yeah, I really wasn't feeling this whole fraternity stuff because this is how it goes:

Frat guy: Hey, what's your name? What's your major?... Cool Cool. Well, I joined this frat because I really wanted to have a social life and these guys right here, they are like my brothers. We look out for each other. Is that something you are interested in?

Yeah, shit gets annoying. It really just isn't my thang. I must admit, lots and lots of girlies go to frat parties. That was a plus. However, most of the girls at these asian frat parties are pretty B grade. My suitemate revealing that he had nipple piercings was definitely a negative. I really hope he doesn't find this blog because he can literally destroy me.

So, yeah, I'm enjoying my time here so far and if anyone is ever out in Westwood, give me a holla and I'll get you something to eat.

NAAAAAAHHH

2008-09-15T02:39:00.000-07:00

Fast forward to 2:50 of this clip. This is kinda how i feel about my last post.

A conversation about girls

2008-09-14T04:05:00.000-07:00

I spend a lot of time talking about girls. Seriously, I've come to realize that I spend more than half the time I am talking speaking on girls. I mean, it varies. I wouldn't say like I'm like, "yo, this bitch right here :: rubs hands licks lips :: she bangin!" 100% of the time, but I usually have some type of insight on girls. If you've ever talked to me for more than 15 minutes, you probably already know this.

So, here I am...4 in the fucking morning..thinking. Why?

Like most questions you ask yourself, the answer is something you already know. So, here we go....

As far as relationships go, we all know where I stand. I am pretty anti-relationships because I really do not see much point to it. It all usually goes the same for everyone. When you first meet someone you are attracted to you do your best to put your best foot forward. You enter a conversation with that person you are attracted to and you ask the following questions, "So, what school do you go to...what do you do for fun...whats your favorite movie...what kinda music do you like?" etc etc...What these questions do is create a set of expectations for that person, and you realize what kind of person the person you are attracted to is in to. Basically, you guys are cheating yourselves. So, you guys hit it off if you guys both happened to be attracted to each other and things are going great for maybe like, 1-3 months. Then, BAM! Someone gets comfortable and the true colors begin to show. Lil' things that you didn't notice about the other person begin to annoy you and you find yourselves getting into arguments over absolutely arbitrary things. But, 3-6 months later, you guys work it out and become somewhat back to where you guys were, but not quite. The relationship becomes a roller coaster of highs and lows and you eventually plateau no where where the falling in love point was in your relationship. And then it ends...

Why would I want to do this? Sure, not ALL relationships turn out this way. But, how many of you can attest to participating in this relationship roller coaster I just described? Yeah, this is usually where the dialogue ends when I give my anti-relationship spiel. I'm sure lots and lots and LOTS of people wonder why I feel this way right? [/sarcasm] Well, this is why I do.

[Just to let you guys know, I'm going to reveal some personal issues and insight right here. And I'm changing the names of the people involved to protect their (or my?) reputation/privacy]

No one in our society is born anti-relationship. I am no different. I too have had hopes that I could form a special bond with someone else. We all know my previous history with (since everyone knows, I'm going to obviously use real names here) Megan (sorry gianni), Stacy (sorry Adrian Sy?), Jennifer (we didn't really go out but she had a hand in forming my stand on relationships), Trisha (sorry Jose C.), and Tritia (sorry gianni again). Sure, it's easy to fault my negative stance on relationships as a byproduct of failed relationships with all these beauties right? Mainly, these relationships all happened when I was young and as teens we all act pretty irrationally and similar for the most part. So, yeah, it's easy for me to say, "Girls are dumb" at this point in my life because I got burned a few times. But, things get fucked up when you start to believe that someone is "different."

We all know exactly what I'm talking about here. We've all met that person where we believe that they are not like any of the previous people we were involved with, right? Well, I met this person as well. For the sake of disguise, Delia was that girl for me (pretty sick Johnny Cash reference eh?). Delia is probably one of the only girls on the planet that I actually truly liked. Yeah, surprise surprise. The dirt bag actually liked someone. So, what could be so possibly different about Delia that would actually possess me of all people to like? Well, since I know you all care to know, Delia and I had conversations. I cannot stress how much of an underrated quality it is to have with another person is the ability to have conversations. The dynamic of the relationship (it was never a dating type relationship) was inexplicably good. Hours and hours of conversation about interesting things (here's another thing, I can't stand talking to people about mundane repetitive topics) and Delia would constantly disagree with me. That's something that I really needed because I can get out of hand and start believing that everything I say is on par with Jesus H. Christ. As an intelligent person, it's always a good thing to have your intelligence challenged. S0, yeah, this relationship was mainly based on conversation. Sure, there were some physical aspects to it, but for some reason, those things did not exactly hold as much importance or vitality as a plain ole' good convo. Yeah, for all my Leykis fans out there you are seriously calling me a bitch right now. So be it.

This all sounds great right? So, why are you writing this John? Well, shit, you know that not all good things last forever. BOOM! <--(I've really been hanging around drew too much) Things change. Delia, who wasn't from the IE, and she was leaving for school. Problem is, her school is in a different time zone. No biggie right? Well, unfortunately, long distance things don't work. Period. Eventually, the space kind of turned our friendship into something more so a novelty than something that could be built upon. And yet again, a failed relationship.

So, what the hell am I doing writing this. I don't know really. I guess I kind of feel like I'm cheating people when I give them insight on relationships and such. People, I assume, see me as a person who simply DGAF about girls. Not true. I just choose simply to not waste time with girls I know won't float my boat. I'm not going to lie, I'm not too different from most people with the whole expectation deal because in a way I am biased towards what I had with Delia. But, then again, all I ask is for a good time and some good conversations.

Well, now that I successfully made myself feel like a complete homo, I will now ignite myself on fire.

John vs. God

2008-08-28T16:53:00.000-07:00

Wow, so is this a blasphemous post? Not really...However, it is refreshing to see the word "blasphemous" being used in a blog posting that isn't a freestyle (sorry mig). Now, if I could rhyme it with alchemist later on, just strap a backpack onto me and call me the Jedi Mind Tricks. So, one pet peeve I have is preachy myspace bulletins/chain letters. Like, I have nothing against Christianity whatsoever. I still have a bit of faith in me, I just don't like the institution of church.

Now anywho, let me give you the most recent example of bullshit that people post on the internet.

To legitimize these Christian's arguments they use an urban myth. I mean, its arguable that this isn't such an immoral thing because as any religious scholar will tell you, the contents of the bible is mostly mythology. I'm not saying Jesus did not exist because there is factual evidence stating there was a Jesus, however, I cannot say that the stories contained in the Bible are original. So, the question here, is it wrong (i really don't like assigning a value judgement on this but whatever) to lie essentially to get people to feel guilty and repost a message that promotes God?

Hmmm, well, to be quite honest, its fucking annoying. As if, God will smite me for not reposting a bulletin. God will not smite me for questioning Christianity either. I would argue its more dangerous to believe in something and not question it. Many devote their entire lives to Christianity, yet I would argue that this is quite irrational to do so unquestioning. I mean, I understand the word worship means to "love unquestioningly and uncritically" but shit man, if your values and beliefs do mean something to you, how can you not question or think critically about religion. I cannot even count how many people I could probably think of that would state their religion and yet would admit to not reading the sacred text albeit the Qur'an, the Talmud, or the Bible.

Alright, I'm going to stop right here, I am worried im going to get smited. Hopefully, I'm an alchemist and turned this blasphemous post into gold. [Copyright Mig Quinanola]

Buffalo Exchange

2008-08-21T15:13:00.003-07:00

Wednesday was one of the best days of my life. I would rank it slightly ahead of meeting Michael Rappaport and slightly behind making out with gianni's sister. [SIDENOTE: I am the worst friend ever] Anywho, why the great day? Because, I made $100 at Buffalo Exchange selling clothes like the shit I wore here. Thank god, my sense of fashion (or maybe lack thereof in that case) is compatible with type of people that work at Buffalo Exchange. So, yeah, I was able to sell that cut off flannel (to Tom's amazement) and the jean vest. BTW, all the denim were levi's samples for mannequins (suck on that one mel [my old cunt of a boss]). But apparently, items that are faux pas to buffalo exchange are basically items of clothing such as Polo shirts that arent size XS, hoodies that aren't AA[phil...PHIL....PHIL!], and t-shirts that are not of the "vintage" kind. But, enough hating aside....

So, Tom witnessed my great fortunes at Buffalo and decided to try his hand. I guess Buffalo Exchange didn't like his clothes as much as mine. So, Tom and I ventured to the Costa Mesa location at the lab...[SIDENOTE: Fuckin aye man, there were sooo many hot chicks at the lab. Posi rep for the OC on that one]. Basically, I took 2 bags full of my shit that they wouldn't take at the LA location on La Brea and Tom took stuff he was going to sell at Plato's Closet until they went bankrupt. Tom's goal was $50 (he admitted later that he was purposely aiming low) and mine was as well $50, which was my original goal when I got $100. So, my buyer was a gay white version of mig (better known as white mig) and Tom got some bearded hipster (no, not me, i shaved).

Tom: $42

John: $51

Hahah, pretty sweet deal if you ask me. Tom needed redemption, so we went all the way down to the LBC, and tried there.

Tom: $11

John: $0

OUCH!, oh well, all in all, I love buffalo exchange for taking my old, totally unstylish clothes that i never wear. Moral of the story? Get rid of shit you dont need

SURPISE!

2008-08-19T02:02:00.000-07:00

Which HOUSE Character Are You?

Devbook Quizzes!!

House Season 4 on DVD comes out today. woo hoo?

August 16th, 2008

2008-08-16T14:38:00.000-07:00

Yeah, no real point in blogging right now besides the fact I'm bored and I just woke up a few hours ago and my dear Tom is still asleep.

Sooooo, last night I was "out with my posse on the prowl for some pussy" (great OTM reference!) well, actually, my "posse" was Tom, Drewfob, and Helen. Go figure...And no, I won't be like Drewfob and list out everyone who was at the party we were going to ala Drew's xanga. Yeah, I'm totally getting punched by Drew when he reads this.

Lucky for me, he can't read engrish. Anywho, so we head to this Riverside party hosted by my "exbestfriend" Michelle Cho. So, first impression walking in was jesus christ, im going to get jumped. But, thankfully we were saved by Jennifer Nguyen. It took about 45 seconds of introductions to some of Jennifer's friends that she brought up the "journal incident."

SIDENOTE:
Ok, first things first for all my guys out there. Never, ever, EVER, write a girl something longer than a page. This will never turn out well for you. I made the mistake (when i was 16 years old!) of writing Jennifer my repressed feelings for her in a journal. Yeah, that's pretty bad and for arguments sake we will mark her rejection postjournal giving as a timestamp in history when I was turned into an asshole (wow, deep). Also, let's also recall Ravi writing my sister a 6 page letter about his feelings. Yeah, we constantly use that against him. So, the moral of the story is, never write girls letters/journals!

So, yeah, party was pretty cool because they had a never ending supply of beer it seemed. Gotta love the selection! Like, with all those viets in riverside I really thought I'd be drinking this. Oh, now I do remember something. I was pretty drunk and Drew had just owned me in a beer bong and some tall thug aZn dude challenges me. Shit, we all know what happens with challenges and myself. So, I totally destroy this guy but it wouldn't be the last time I hear from him. So, basically I'm like totally smashed and I'm talking to Jennifer's friend and Michelle's viet roommate (the roommate is a viet girl about 4'9") approaches me. First things first, never trust a short asian girl. NEVER! Ok, I'm just bitter, but, this girl gets in my face about somethign that I don't remember but i think she was just joking around and then she slapped me. In turn, I joking slammed her soda in the sink. Enter aZn dude to save her. I guess Drew and Tom had to intervene and for some reason I actually wanted to fight. But, I'm guessing that was just the alocohol talking because I'm not that guy that goes looking for fights.

I would give more summary on the night but I'll just say it ended like this...

I busted a Tommy , I drove Tom's car really drunk (just around the block to scare drew), and I slept on Tom's couch.

Great night!

A scoff and a guffaw

2008-08-13T18:08:00.000-07:00

This poll has proven to be so, so, telling!

Man, its a shame. I was really looking for an ego booster by checking the results but its just turned out to be the opposite. I guess if I want to look sexy, I must stick to hanging with Tom and Gianni strictly. Mig and Phil are stylin on me! (am i mad?)..haha

Anywho, what an interesting week it has been. A few thoughts I need to express which I think may be helpful to my fellow man, although the readers of this blog are clearly mostly female...

-Girls are crazy:
like seriously. Haha, bullshit aside, I already know that there's a certain small group of girls already taking offense to what I just said...I am not directly calling anyone out, HOWEVER, if you are getting offended... YOU ARE CRAZY

ok, here's the thing with girls: could you be anymore indirect?? (could i sound anymore like chandler?)
Let me make up an example, and I'm sure guys will be familiar with what I am saying.

Guy: Alright, well I had a good time watching a movie (which I guy in example had already seen) and eating with you. I am going to my boy ~~Tom's~~ Ron's house.

Girl: Ok, : FROWN :

Guy: what? what's wrong with you? (in the most caring of voices of course!)

Girl: Oh, nothing...

Guy: (Thinks to himself, "Gee, she's probably butt hurt that im not going to spend my entire day with her) Are you sure? I dont want you to call me later all upset because i left

Girl: No, dont worry

So, for all you guys who have been in this position, what do you think happens when you drive off? Yeah, that's right...the crying phone call. This all leads back to the "S P A C E" blog entry I wrote earlier.

What I really don't understand is how the hell does this happen to me? I take proper precaution into avoiding crazy bitches. I don't know fellas, it happens to the best of us.

So here's some pointers...The situation I described is a red flag. Red flags are signs that you need to DTB (for all you non-Leykis listeners, that's DUMP THAT BITCH!). I will now create a list of red flags for us men.

-Crying
-Receiving more than 2 missed calls an hour or receiving more than 5 missed calls a day
-Unwillingness to have sex w/condoms
-Getting angry if you don't call everyday
-Getting jealous over every friend you have that is a girl
-Automatically disliking your ex-gf if it has happened over 2 years
-Eating disorders or any history of mental illness
-She tries to take your freedm i.e. you can't go out anytime you want

Whenever someone comes to me with a situation as mentioned above in the red flag section I always, and you can ask anyone this, I always tell them the same thing: RUN!

sure, they may have the primo vagina...sure, they may have the most capital knockers you've ever seen, but it is seriously never worth it. I mean you can choose to listen to me or you can choose to deal with THIS! Real talk. And, I am sure there are exceptions to the rules because crying is a normal emotional response, its just not one when you say "hey, you're fat." And yes, people can recover from having a history of mental illness (eating disorders included) and people like that tend to be great persons of inspiration who show a tremendous amount of character.

But then again boys, when your young and sexy like me and the rest of artillery (well, not Gianni and I according the most recent results) the world is your oyester

Off the wall

2008-08-10T14:52:00.000-07:00

...like a ja rule poster...

ok, first of all:

34 people do not read my blog. So, how is it that there have been 34 votes placed in the artillery good looking vote off? Hmmm...Well, to equalize this, I'm not sure if you guys know this, but you can change your vote at any time. I'll leave you all with this...

Exhibit A - Kobe's twin is unstoppable on and off the court as well

Exhibit B - thats his normal face

Exhibit C - Is that a hair straightener?

Exhibit D - Just stop voting for yourself

Exhibit E - Just a typical candid picture of myself

S P A C E

2008-08-05T19:40:00.000-07:00

So, I've basically abandoned my vegan blogging. It just wasn't interesting to write about. There really isn't anything special or groundbreaking in what I am doing. Sure, this is pretty hard, but now I'm in such of habit of eating vegan that I hardly ever think about it. Except when I think of cheese. Yeah, I know...pretty weird...

So, what else is there to talk about?
Let's talk about girls, shall we?

If I had to guess the demographic of the readers of my blog (all 5 of them) I would probably guess that they are all girls. So, I am going to be careful and not come off as just being a jerk. I will attempt to be as objective as possible and please understand I am not calling anyone out in particular.

So, what about girls you ask? After talking to a few girls and listening to a few of my guy friends I have noticed a trend in some of their relationships: Guys need space.

Sure, this isn't a phenomena limited to the male genotype, but seriously, what's wrong with a lil' breathing room. Guys are pretty simple creatures I would say. Yes, guys like hanging out with you and taking you to movies and boning you afterwards. Yes, we like sex, we like eating, and we like movies. But, we also like handling our errands on our own. We also like committing acts of mischief with our buddies in the mountains. And sometimes, we just like sitting in our rooms alone doing whatever it is we like doing. I am not sure why this concept is so tough for girls to understand. I personally do not have any of these problems really, but I am speaking for those guys who can't.

I mean girls (all 5 of you), would you want your man following you everywhere you go? Would you want him to be there from the moment your awake to the moment you are sleeping? Would you want him to be there when you and your close girl friends are on a night out? Would you want him to blow up your phone when your trying to do your own thing?

FUCK NO, right?

So, its understood. Guys need space, and so do girls. So for everyones sake, girls, leave us the hell alone!

(..unless we need some lovin')

Veganism Day 6-7

2008-07-28T21:41:00.000-07:00

So I have made a discovery...

Native Foods is pretty bad ass. Ahh, finally..a place for me to eat regular tasting food. I love it, I fuckin love it! uhm...yeah, the diet has stayed stable with a mixture of pasta and beans and rice. Yum! I've been having mad headaches however...

A side thought not involving veganism:

God, I hate Wayfarers after going to the American Apparel sale. I mean, that wasn't the most annoying thing about the sale. Probably the most annoying thing about the sale was the amount of hipsters at this event. I have literally never seen so many wayfarers, deep V's, fanny packs, and 80's haircuts in one place. If Bob Dylan had a funeral, this is what it would like. Typicaly, they played Bob Dylan while we were in line. I have never not enjoyed listening to Like a Rolling Stone until this sale. Anywho, enough elitism. First of all, I will never ever wait in line for any sale ever again. Literally, hype kills. No, I am not a t-shirt your local filipino guy is wearing. But, really...5 bucks for a blank tee, yay! But, wait, I feel better about it because it was made under fair conditions by competitively paid mexicans.

Ok, that's enough elitism for one night...
Btw, guys who sign you up for the gym (sorry Rom) are scum. Jesus, they are up there with car salesman (sorry, darkmatter?) and dare I say tow truck drivers!? Jesus, I just want to use the goddamn guest pass, is that too much to ask? Thanks for wasting an hour of my life asking me what my goals are.

Trainer: So man, tell me what your goals are
Me: Uhm, I don't know man, I just wanna work out
Trainer: So, your telling me health isn't important to you? I mean, health is important. Wouldn't you say so?
Me: Uhm, it's moderately important
Trainer: Oh, moderately? Well, wouldn't you say that by the end of this 7 day guest pass you would want to sign up since health is moderately important to you?
Me: Uhm, I don't know how I'd feel, 7 days is a long time. I kind of like to just go with the flow
Trainer: That's deep bro.

Yeah, scumbag!! (no offense Rom)

Veganism Day 4-5

2008-07-26T11:03:00.000-07:00

I'm getting too lazy to post my daily diets so I have decided to discontinue that portion of my blog. Yes, I know, there is a crazed fan following of the diet list but I have decided that it is in my best interest if I just skipped that part. So, basically, every day is the same almost. Every breakfast is goddamn pasta. How do the itallians do it??! Oh, thats right..they put meat in the sauce. Ba dum che (that was a rimshot for all you phonetically retarded people). The shitty thing about being vegan is that feeling you get when you are out with your friends and they know you can't eat at a place like, I don't know, Long John Silvers, you feel guilty that they must accommodate you. But, then again, their intentions are to support faceless corporations who viciously slaughter animals for purely profit [/being a white liberal]. But, then again, my picky diet called for thai food! I have never in my life loved Thai food this much.

Rice noodles+tofu+peanuts=PAD THAI!

Kinda doesnt have the same flavor minus the chicken, shrimp, egg...but whatev!

oh yeah, as far as weight goes...my brother is using the bathroom with the scale in it..i'll weigh myself later

Veganism Day 2-3

2008-07-24T11:13:00.000-07:00

Yeah, got drunk on day 2 so I didnt really have time to post any clear thoughts...

So, I've come this far. People say that you have to do something for 3 days for it to become a habit, i.e. quit smoking, or watch episodes of House. So, would I dare say that being vegan has become a habit? We'll find out on day 4. My main concerns at this point are mainly energy. Lately, I've been feeling fatigued often and chronic headaches have become an issue. No, I wont bitch out.

Oh yeah, apparently everything at Buffalo Wild Wings is not vegan safe..WTF!!! Well, according to a reliable source, if the title of the establishment has an animal in it, it's probably not vegan safe!

WHO WOULDA THOUGHT?!

Day 2 Diet:

Breakfast:
-Soy Tacos with fresh salsa
Thoughts:
-Not bad, not bad...
Lunch:
-Trail Mix
-Cherries
Thoughts:
-AACHHASHFOHOASFHOCHSO, I want real food
Dinner:
-2 22 oz mugs of Blue Moon
-2 double shots of vodka with red bull
Thoughts:
-Hi, my name is John, and I am an alcoholic...

Day 3 Diet:

Breakfast:
-Whole wheat penne with organic garlic tomato sauce
Thoughts:
-Not too bad...i can do this
Lunch:
-Veggie Club sandwhich
Thoughts:
-Avocados and onions FTMFW!
Dinner:
-Portabello mushroom on a plain roll with onions and tomatoes
-Side of rice and soy sauce
Thoughts:
-bunk shrooms > real shrooms, right tom?

Weight: 177.7
Uhm, this is like a pound a day...im getting kinda scared

VEGANISM DAY 1

2008-07-22T20:07:00.001-07:00

So yeah, I am an idiot.

I have decided to take on this most ridiculous bet (of $40) to become vegan for 2 months. So uh yeah...I have a problem of not being able to turn down a challenge so here it goes...I think it'll be cool for me to blog everyday about the challenges and joys of becoming vegan.

Breakfast:
-Nothing
Thoughts: Uh, I miss you milk!!!
Lunch:
-Black Beans
-Spanish Rice
-Tortilla Chips
Thoughts: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!
Dinner:
-Nothing
Thoughts: WTF!WTF!WTF!WTF!WTF!WTF!WTF!WTF!WTF!WTF!WTF!WTF!

Weight: 180.7 lbs

So yeah, so far so good!

AFRICA!!! DAY 5-6

2008-06-27T07:07:00.000-07:00

So basically, today I didn't have to go to work. Pretty rad.

So last night Tom and I were having the gamblin itch so we rolled to the Grand West Casino...

I lost about 300 Rand at the casino, which is what...$36 USD....PFF!! thats all i had to say about that. But the really sweet part about last night was running into some random South Africans that Tom met at a diner.

Theses guys were fuckin nuts! But they were mad cool at the same time. Easily some of the coolest peoples i've ever run into (sorry friends?) definitely not lames. They make about 8-12 rand an hr where they work which equals a lil more than a buck yet they were buying me black label SA beer. What does authentic SA beer taste like you ask...uhm the best comparison would be BJ's Brewhouse Blonde. Beer out here runs anywhere from 7 rand to 12 rand which is about a buck. Yeah, one of the great things ive learned about SA is this: Cheap livin', great life!

So a bunch of black labels later i was pretty twisted and to make matters worse, this crazy MF named Lloyd started rollin a spliff. So yes, let's do a count off of how many times I've smoked weed (like, im totally not a weed smoker at all...seriously) since my trip began: once at LAX with the Rasta, once on the streets of South Africa with the Rasta, and once with some crazy Afrikanners in a Citi Golf. Yeah, weird...I dont like weed much but, hey, its free and its one of those things i can tell people, "look at me, im so cool, i've smoked weed with Africans in mudda fuckin Africa brudah" yeah, Tom and I have developed South African accents so dont be surprised when we come back. Don't worry, our accents aren't fake and annoying or anything (yeah, that last hyperlink was kinda predictable and it was the second time i've linked that same link i know...but hey!)

WARNING: The next paragraphy may sound preachy

Today was an awesome experience. The most important thing about travelling to a place like South Africa isn't about the fun or the drinks or the bitches. It's really about connecting with all the different people and experience the African experience. What I saw today has really formed an impression in my mind and it clearly outlines the stark differences between our American culture and developing world cultures. When you arrive in South Africa, most people will tell you certain things such as avoid the train at night, don't go to Townships (basically ghettos, in the Jewish sense not Fontana ((low blow!)), and basically avoid everything that has something to do with the poor people of South Africa. In doing so, you forget that the lady who just served you in the beautiful restaraunt in Cape Town drives 30 minutes everyday on a minibus from metal shacks to serve you for a dollar an hr. Yet the strange thing is, there is no animosity. A quick historical background check of South Africa will tell you about apartheid and its horrible reprocussions. Yet the affected peoples, the Blacks, the Coloureds (mixtures of black, white, malay, and indian) do not hold animosity towards the descendents of their white oppressors. The sense of community is alive in these Townships. I'm not saying that these places are safe by any means. They have drugs, hoes, criminals and such but I've never felt such a thing as I did today when I talked to people in these townships. Wow, really, I want to say more but I feel like I've blabbered on too much and may be sounding a bit too preachy. So here's some pix i took with my phone.

Some children in the townships that we bought food for.

The actual premises of their homes.

SOUTH AFRICA!! (Day 3-4)

2008-06-26T06:50:00.000-07:00

I have began my first day of working at PPASA (Planned Parenthood Association of South Africa) and its pretty chill. Apparently there is a phenomena called "African Time," which means that everything gets done at everyones own pace. The cool thing about African Time is that my lunch break today was 3 hours long. That bad part of it is is that customer service is not about being timely.

I haven't really started saving the world from HIV/AIDS yet, but I am working on it. I've read a few manuals on teaching children about sexuality and what not and its kinda hillarious...because I am immature...
I've met my coworkers however. I'm working with 2 white bitches from Diablo Valley College (Bay Area) and a group from Arizona State. They seem lame for the most part but I'm pretty good at making friends...i guess?

Some random thoughts:
-I hate "conscious" white girls
Jesus, maybe its my disdain for the bay or my hatred of girls but man, when girls attempt to participate in a political discussion, please, do not just name drop mugabe this and zimbabwe that. Second, white girls love weird food. WTF?! "I love hummus...The risoto here is amazing!" Well, risoto isn't that weird...but still!
-White girls from ASU have bodies
no offense to their Souther California counterparts but, goddamn!! I mean, even the ugly faced ones got that magic.
-People from the bay really do say "HELLA" way too damn much...
yadidasayin????
-South Africans do not give a fuck
That just seems like the attitude around here. Everybody is real chill and no one is in a real rush. Kind of a great contrast coming from the home of "Drive-Thru," "Curbside To-GO," and "Lost 60lbs in 30 days."

Welp, hopefully i can find a USB 2.0 connection somewhere so i can upload pix..till the next time

Buy a donkey!
(slang for bye and thank you)

GIRLS = DUMB

2008-03-10T19:56:00.001-07:00

Ok, so this is a topic that is long overdue for me.

Girls are fuckin stupid. Yeah, I said it. They really are. Ok, so maybe not 100% of girls are seriously retarded and irrational but I would make a rough estimate and say that 99.87% of them are. I by any means do not mean to offend any rational and non retarded girl out there. In fact, these are the WOMEN I truly feel for because they have to carry their entire gender on their shoulders. I will begin by analyzing certain traits that all girls share:

1. Girls are insanely temperamental. (I guess that would make me insanely condescending for using that hyperlink...) Girls tend to overreact and become extremely emotional about things that do not seem to even be relevant or matter much. For example, let's just say you and your girl are out and some chick with capital knockers walks by. To a girl, it is a crime to look if you and the other girl are somewhat serious. Or, you in any way hint at the beauty of another girl, you get one of these:

Guy: Wow, your mom's a beautiful woman.
Girl: WTF? Why don't you go out with her then. :: rolls eyes, crosses arms and pouts ::

Honestly, why is it a big deal to acknowledge another woman's beauty? It's because girls hate other girls. Case in point, white women will refuse to vote for Hillary because they would never like to see a fellow woman succeed. However, white women love Ellen DeGeneres because shes a dyke and by no way do they feel threatened by a butch lesbian.

2) Girls believe they are insufficient until a man completes them. (Yeah, cue all the independent ladies to throw ya hands up at me). How many girls can you think of that are happy being single? Yeah, none. Girls will have a tendency to feel shitty about themselves without attention from males. So, cue assholes like me who will give them attention (albeit be negative) and boom!(props to phi-fob for the boom) stuck to ya like mud. Why do girls constantly feel like they need a man? Well, for one, our society looks down upon old single women. Second, girls are obsessed with finding a man who will buy them stuff, make love to them, and tell them their pretty. And since dudes like that are hard to come by, they have a firm belief they can change assholes like me.

3) Girls are completely irrational. This is an all encompassing trait that serves as an umbrella to many other unwanted traits. I'm sure all of us have bared witness to the absurdity of a girl. Think about the treat em like dirt theory. Why does this make any real sense? If someone makes you feel terrible about yourself why do you stick around? Or even better, if someone has been a constant strain on your life for the past 4 years and all they've done in the past 4 years is talk mad trash about you, turn random strangers against you, torment your closest friends, and punch you into a tree (this could be anyone right?) why would you be so willing to accept them back into your life after you've spent so much time bitching about how so and so ruined your life? Why would girls repeatedly say they hate drama, yet in a matter of a week, create some.

Completely irrational, no?

And girls wonder why men don't treat them right. Girls do not demand respect. Their actions are irrational and are all emotional based. If girls are so willing to accept poor treatment as the norm, they wonder why all guys are assholes. Yeah, its pretty jacked up that I kind of personalized this blog by mentioning names without mentioning names but I just cannot respect girls like this.

note: I am not angry at all towards women. The word would be dumbfounded. And by all means, I still love pussy.

leif sux

2008-03-08T20:30:00.000-08:00

so its been a while since i posted in this. I feel like my life drags on throughout the week with work and school and then the great awaited weekend comes and most of the time its a letdown. I guess people consider weekends a letdown if either a) they dont get laid, or b) they dont score some cool free/cheap shit. And so far, i havent gotten laid or got some cool free shit so i guess im well on my way to a letdown. However, in retrospect, the best part of the weekend to me is always the epic shit talking sesh's i have. I dont know what it is, but when i can demean someone with my wit, it totally makes my day. That's why its always good to have some good punching bags around. But, to all my punching bags out there, please dont take it personal, i do care for you, i may not like you, but you are a much needed part of my life.

One more thing, this whole tritia/chrissi beef is so weird. Really, its like some twilight zone shit. I've tried my best to keep my mouth shut about it, but really now...WTF! Like who woulda thought there would be this role reversal. It must be phil's fault with his excessive preaching of the 2012 theory. Hopefully, i can get back with Stacy, she knew how to buy gifts and give some pretty choice blowjays.

Oh well, theres always this.

Don't Shoot the Messenger

2008-03-02T16:03:00.000-08:00

I've been really itching to write in this shit for a while.

After many consecutive weekends of doing jack shit and coming home early on the weekends shit actually got poppin off. So, Friday night was Kathy's bday party. It was pretty much exactly how i expected. Essentially, every dude there was trying to score some action and it was awesome watching girls getting sandwhiched by random dudes. Now that i think about it, Friday was pretty lame. The highlight was me making fun of Sheena. Nothing like a fat girl to please my needs.

Saturday, now that was poppin off. So we went to this guy Tim's house which I've met briefly 2 or 3 times. This guy's pad is pretty fuckin redic, his parent's house was quite large and styled by a homosexual from san francisco im sure due to the modern influences. This nigga's faucet in the restroom had a waterfall..his refridgerator had a tv. WTF! shit was pretty baaad. So there was a decent amount of pussy at this party and i have to admit, i was on somewhat of a prowl. I mean, i had to top phil's conquest, which was a mixture of this and this. +1 posi rep i guess...
So, really, how the fuck am i going to top an amazonian scene girl?? So, I made a few rounds aroudn the house checkin the prospects and such. And i end up talking to this really short blonde with some weird hat. Jesus christ, this bitch would not STFU! She kept blabbering on about respecting asian culture bla bla bla...and then insert cock blocking friend and I was outta there. Later on, after chatting with some fellow mates about the same girl i come to find out she had some fucked up disorder when she was young. WTF! Shit was wild! hahaha..uhm so i kinda gave up on the midget. I then went inside and found this decent looking (probably like a 7.5, but she had a wholesome look so +1) girl. I begin the convo by disrespecting her completely, like literally busting a Mike Tyson, "Shhh! I only talk to women if im fornicatin' wit em so you better stop talking unless....you know" on her. Yeah, i know, im a bad man. But, we end up arguing for 10 minutes about my intelligence, which she doubted, and said was irrelevent to the conversation. Wow, a chick with some fight in her with possibly a brain. I'm getting a chub! So, she leaves to talk to her bf (the crowd goes awww) and I go around the house about 4 more times.

I will omit the drama filled part of the night just so i do not add any fuel to the fire. But, if every filipino girl wants to put all the blame of every problem on me, by all means, I have no problem accepting responsibility for my actions and i do apologize if i have stirred up some type of issue.

So yeah, on with the night, I found myself in the kitchen again with this wholesome white girl with a boyfriend. We continue to conversate (i know, its not a word) and somehow relationships come up. This is where every person in a relationship or a believer of "love" goes on to lecture me about the "need" for "love." However, i was civil, and i refuted her points to which she conceded. I found that quite attractive. The fact that we had a constructive argument and she acknowledged my points was quite refreshing. But, it really was nuffin. Just some random convo with a random girl.

At the fear of losing street cred for writing such a corny post I will set if off by saying that i put it in her butt and that bitch domed me up right after one time!

So for all of you keeping count at home, John went 0-2 this weekend. It's ok, theres always girls that are willing.

Treat 'em like dirt, stick to ya like mud

2008-02-25T23:48:00.000-08:00

Treat 'em like dirt and they stick to ya like mud. GENIUS!

Last week was a decent week. I finished all my work on time for school for once, received 3 AA degrees (Liberal Arts and Sciences, University Studies, General Ed.), got my FAFSA check, and I cleaned out my car. On top of that, I gots laid! God, i'm getting way too hyperlink happy here. HAHAH...

anywho...

I got a haircut finally, wow and what a experience. I got my hair did at Hawleywoods which was a real dope spot. For those of you who are not as SUFU approved as me (everyone except sidneylo) Hawleywoods was one of the first barbershops of its kind thats becoming a big trend which is Barbershops catered to males. What I loved about Hawleywoods was the authenticity. Nothing like an all male barbershop that you can smoke in and read playboy and penthouse in. The vintage barber's chairs were a nice touch as well. Well, for all of you who havent seen my hair or made fun of it, the inspiration was this (no homo). I think it came out pretty sweet given that the barbers gave me a good amount of shit for bringing a picture no homo. Without further ado, here it is w/o hypertext goodness

ARTILLERY UPDATE:
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT...
WWW.ARTILLERYCO.COM
ARTILLERY WILL BE OPENING UP SHOP AT A BOOTH DURING "SESSION A" HELD AT CAL POLY POMONA, ON MARCH 6TH!!! BE SURE TO COME OUT AND SUPPORT US!!!
WWW.ARTILLERYCO.COM

Vapors Magazine Release Party @ The Standard LA

2008-02-21T12:40:00.001-08:00

Last night was the release party for Vapors Magazine. It was at one of the dopest spots in LA I've ever been to. Basically, a lot of big name people were there from brands like Crooks and Castles, The Hundreds, and Greyone. Pacific Division which is a hip hop group that we've been more or less collaborating with was scheduled to perform but due to technical difficulties they could not. But we were able to kick them some shirts. Hopefully they'll wear em in their next photoshoot on friday.

BTW, girls who go to magazine release parties are hawt. This is the only reason i wanted to start artillery, just so girls at these parties could say, ::speaks to girlfriend:: "omg! i totally just got groped by diddy from artillery, im so wet! let's like makeout and then do coke and suck his famous wiener!!"

ah yes, a boy can dream.

Sophia Nguyen

2008-02-13T17:52:00.001-08:00

IMG_0099
Originally uploaded by jdiddy336

Oh yeah, I have a niece now...Welcome Sophia Belle Nguyen. Future CEO of Artillery's womens line.

same shit different day

2008-02-13T17:27:00.000-08:00

So lately (wow, I always wanted to write blogs so I could start off a paragraph with "so lately...") school has been whatevs. I'm really not trying hard enough. But then again, maybe I've bitten off way more than I can chew.

In my Intercultural Communication Studies class we had to share our cultural identity. I basically bullshitted it (or I'm just saying that because I took 2 hours to write about my life as an Asian American and if I genuinly put effort into it I would lose my cool factor and street cred) and I basically discussed how the generation gap between immigrant parents and first american born asian american children affects the norms and structures we live by (Props to Amy Tan for that). I felt that what I said in my class was probably a lotta BS (once again, trying to save street cred) but everyone ate that shit up. Mainly because my class is full of emotionally well adjusted Christians and those who have either A)grew up in 15+ foster homes, B)are single parents that have extremely hopeful aspirations to become doctors and millionaires of sort(I'm taking the smart money on this one) and C)Mormons/Muslims (I consider them the same..cmon, multiple wives and modest women). Probably the highpoint of the day was when I was being compared to my favorite professor no homo.

Well, I do try...
ARTILLERY UPDATE:
Meeting tonight to discuss the new designs (trust me, they are fuckin sick. remember the first time you touched a boob? yeah, that good) Also, we're looking for some models, preferably hot and the test is if you can make me jizz my pants using only your elbows (yes, its that easy).

Why Blog?

2008-02-12T22:28:00.000-08:00

This is a rival blog to Mig's ridiculous Artillery blog. This will be the second view of what Artillery is and what we are about. PLUS I will shamelessly post about my own personal life. Because c'mon, who doesn't want to know abut the man of many monikers such as "the Smash King," "diddy," "witty diddy," "jdiddy," "DEE-DEE (phonetic spelling of what Mig calls me), " and "the asshole of the group." ?